madamisahumourist:

iburisu:

dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.

(Source: 40ozbaka, via alyeska18)

"I’m a witch woman; high on tobacco and holy water. I’m a woman delighted with her disasters. They give me something to do. A profession of sorts. I have the magic of words."

Sandra Cisneros    (via mirroir)

(Source: talisman, via march-hare-madness)

clubsduece:

clubsduece:

clubsduece:

what do you call a device that requires more than one dolphin to operate

a multi-porpoise tool

fuck you guys this was fucking funny

(via jazzforyourcow)

"Every single person in the world is interesting - they’re a walking story."

James McAvoy [x] (via objectifyingjamesmcavoy)

(via 01012012)

"I grabbed my book and opened it up. I wanted to smell it. Heck, I wanted to kiss it. Yes, kiss it. That’s right, I am a book kisser. Maybe that’s kind of perverted or maybe it’s just romantic and highly intelligent."

Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian (via chelseyphilpot)

(via figmentdotcom)